Oh no.

A Gravity Falls Fanfic by Aoikami Sarah

Written in May, 2015 while waiting after ďNot What He SeemsĒ

Chapter Two

Journal of Pacifica E. Northwest selected entries 2015-2018, and Newspaper Clippings

 

July 9th, 2015

Today I had a really bad day. Nothing terrible happened, really, but I saw Stan Pines (the one with the fez) and I hadnít seen him in a while. He looked super old. He didnít see me, which is good, but it brought back such a wave of painful memories.

I still canít believe itís been three years since I first met Dipper and Mabel, and two since Iíve talked to Dipper at all. I can barely write about it. Iím glad I got it all out after the stuff with him and that triangle demon thing happened in this journal, I needed to do that, but my dumb 13-year-old feels sound so stupid now. I wish heíd write to me. I know if I asked Mabel for help sheíd jump on it, but I donít want to play that game. He should want to contact me. If he doesnít, why would I want to talk to him? I know we were only 13 but it was a seriously epic breakup and I still think it wasnít either of our faults, but... Itís not like I lay awake at night thinking about him. Oh, wait. Right. I do.

Only less than two years and five months to go until Iím 18. Itís like time is slowing down. Maybe it is, you never know with this stupid town. Iím doing really well at playing the part, though. Theyíre planning to send me to Princeton and I keep bragging about it openly (New Jersey though, seriously?). I cannot wait to see the looks on their faces when I tell them what Iím going to do!

So, hereís the plan. Iím only writing this down now because Iím sure they havenít found this journal. I rigged up a security thing that Dipper showed me how to do with hair and tape (kind of gross, but it works).

1)      Play the dutiful daughter until December 1st, 2017

2)      Turn 18 and Savings and Trust Funds in my name become my property

3)      Live off Savings and Trusts on my own somewhere far from THEM

4)      Be happy!! :)

 

October 12th, 2017

I donít know what to do. All my plans are ruined. I should call Mabel but why? She canít do anything, and Dipper canít save me from this. Without money, the plan doesnít work. And without money what can I possibly do? And itís like they knew that I was trying to get out, but Iím positive they didnít read the journal, I covered it in powder and there would be smudges if they had!

They lost everything. All my funds which were theirs until 12/1 are gone. Some sort of Ponzi scheme they cooked up I donít know the details but I know by the look of horror and evil on their faces that itís true. And to get themselves out of it, theyíve sold ME. Iím to marry Gilbert Nguyen this scrawny computer nerd whose mom is some Silicon Valley tycoon who owns half of California. Heís like 10 years older than I am and super super gross! He said something totally disgusting to me, and my parents didnít even bat an eye!

They handed me a contract to sign that says if I marry him next month the Northwests get $10 billion. I refused and they said that I canít. I said Iíd just divorce him and they said that the contract stipulates that I must remain married to him for at least 10 years and ďproduceĒ at least five kids. Great, now Iím crying again. Mom and Dad just pushed the contract at me and demanded I sign it. I said Iíd rather break all of my fingers than sign (which was a pretty badass thing to say and I was surprised it came out of my mouth) and I ran to my room. Iíve been locked in here ever since. I know they can get the doors off if they really want to so itís only a matter of time before theyíll make me sign it.

I donít know what to do. Part of me wishes Dipper was here, but I know that boat sailed and heís far away. I need help RIGHT NOW. I need a miracle. I need a deal with the devil. Iíd sell my soul to anyone just to be free. (scribbled out symbol)

 

Called the triangle. Really dumb. SO DUMB. Big mistake. After everything that happened back in 2013 why did I think heíd be any less evil? Iím 100% sure he still wants us dead and I almost made it happen. But he spied on Mom and Dad and said they are planning to set the house on fire to collect the insurance money. I know itís the truth. What the actual fuck? Nothing makes sense anymore. I havenít eaten since the 12th, I think itís the 14th? Not sure. Iím so scared. Hereís my options:

1)      agree to marry this creep and have money and live a miserable life in California

2)      refuse to marry, maybe get burned alive

3)      make a deal with the triangle - probably die

4)      kill myself and spite everyone

5)      run away

I think Iím going to throw up. If I were braver I could maybe do something but I canít think of anything that could help me in the slightestÖ but Iím not brave. Iím so scared. Now I really wish Dipper Pines would run in here, calling my name and giving me the courage I need. But I donít have anyone anymore. I donít have any real friends and the only two I ever had are long gone. If I donít have money Iím useless and everyone will make fun of me forever and my life will be miserable. If only I wasnít a Northwest!!!

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, October 20th, 2017, Page 1

NORTHWEST MANSION FIRE by Toby Determined

(photo of burning mansion)

At 1:30 AM Sunday morning Gravity Falls Fire Department responded to an alarm call at the Northwest Mansion. Responders found the southern section of the large estate fully involved and had to call for mutual aid from surrounding towns to put out the blaze. About one third of the mansion house was destroyed compromising the kitchens and other service and reception areas. The Northwests could not be reached for comment. An investigation into the cause of the blaze is ongoing.

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, October 27th, 2017, Page 1

NORTHWESTS ARRESTED - ARSON, FRAUD CHARGES, HOMICIDE INVESTIGATION by Toby Determined

(photo of Preston, Muffy, and Pacifica Northwest)

The bodies of three unidentified individuals were discovered in a wing of the Northwest mansion house, part of which was consumed by fire on October 16th. Their identities are unknown at the time of this publication. The FBI have been called in to the case, relieving Gravity Falls Sheriff Blubs, as the fire is now suspected to have been set intentionally, and possibly-related charges of fraud have been brought against Preston and Muffy Northwest. Additionally, a homicide investigation is being conducted regarding the three unidentified fire victims. Authorities hope to question the Northwestsí 17-year old daughter Pacifica who has been missing since the morning of the 16th. If anyone has seen or heard from her they are asked to report to the FBI or local authorities.

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, November 3rd, 2017, Page 1

NORTHWESTS ARRAIGNED by Toby Determined

Preston and Muffy Northwest were arraigned yesterday at Crook County Superior Court. The affidavit claims that the couple concocted an elaborate Ponzi scheme that left them penniless and indebted to billionaire Bian Nguyen to the tune of $10 billion. The investigation into the arson of their mansion house is still ongoing. Federal authorities have brought the following charges against the couple:

Count One: Securities Fraud: Maximum penalty: 20 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $5 million or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution. Count Two: Investment Adviser Fraud: Maximum penalty: 5 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $10,000 or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution. Count Three: Mail Fraud: Maximum penalty: 20 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $250,000 or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution. Count Four: Wire Fraud: Maximum penalty: 20 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $250,000 or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution.

Count Five: International Money Laundering To Promote Specified Unlawful Activity: Maximum penalty: 20 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $500,000 or twice the value of the monetary instruments or funds involved, or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution.

Count Six: International Money Laundering To Conceal And Disguise The Proceeds Of Specified Unlawful Activity: Maximum penalty: 20 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $500,000 or twice the value of the monetary instruments or funds involved or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution. Count Seven: Money Laundering: Maximum penalty: 10 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $250,000 or twice the gross grain or loss from the offense, and restitution. Count Eight: False Statements: Maximum penalty: 5 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $250,000 or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution.

Count Nine: Perjury: Maximum penalty: 5 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $250,000 or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution. Count 10: Making A False Filing With The Securities and Exchange Commission: Maximum Penalty: 20 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $5 million or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution. Count 11: Theft From An Employee Benefit Plan: Maximum Penalty: 5 years in prison, fine of the greatest of $250,000 or twice the gross gain or loss from the offense, and restitution.

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, April 6th, 2018

ANNOUNCEMENT

Stanford and Stanley Pines are proud to announce the acceptance of their grand-nephew and grandson (respectively) to the University of California, Berkeley. Dipper Pines will study archeology, anthropology and ďall kinds of stuffĒ according to Stanford Pines. ďWe couldnít be prouder of the twerp. Itís not gonna get him any girls, though, thatís for damn sure.Ē

 

This was created as a mixed-media fanfiction on tumblr. Go to tumblr user aksarah and search #ohno to see it.