Oh no.

A Gravity Falls Fanfic by Aoikami Sarah

Written in May, 2015 while waiting after “Not What He Seems”

 

Chapter Four

Personal Journal of Dipper Pines Selected Entries, Newspaper Articles and Announcements

 

Personal Journal of Dipper Pines

Sunday, August 13th, 2023

I just dropped Pacifica off at the bus station to go back to Portland. It was hard to do. Mabel feigned that she had a call to take and told me to drive her by myself. She gave me this cheesy wink behind Pacifica’s back, but rather than encouraging me, it just made me want to crawl in a hole. It’s not like I could’ve just told her how I feel and everything would be perfect. Life is too complicated for that, now. She has another life and she doesn’t need me to rescue her from it and she certainly doesn’t need my affection to feel whole.

Oh no. But I need HERS! Oh god I am so stupid why didn’t I just tell her that?? What is wrong with me? It WAS me, wasn’t it? Oh and I made her apologize for leaving holy cow I am such an asshole. If I had just reached out to her back then, I could have helped her. She’s so strong, I know that, but she needed a hand so she could pull herself up and out of that horrible situation and I didn’t extend it even though I loved her so much I was so wrapped up with my own stupid hurt feelings...well, I was 13, but still, that’s no excuse for acting the same stupid way NOW!!

I have her #. I can call her. I should call her. I’m gonna call her.

I apologized. Profusely. I cried. A lot. Not ashamed of that--especially because she thanked me and cried too and I told her to come stay with us anytime she wanted and she promised to come back soon, maybe in two weeks she’ll talk to her boss at the restaurant and get some more time off if she can. She asked me to call her again soon! I will. I’m not sure if she feels as strongly about me as I do about her so I’m going to take it slow, but I know that I love Pacifica more than anyone I’ve ever been with and that’s just from a few months as a kid and this past weekend! This is so nuts, but I don’t care. This feels right. And if I can make her happy… I don’t even want to write down any what-ifs in case I jinx it, so I’ll just say “...” and leave it at that.

Mabel is going to be totally insufferable with gushing and teasing me once I tell her about this. Maybe I’ll wait a couple days.

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, October 6th, 2023, Page 2

GREASY’S WELCOMES NEW WAITRESS - PACIFICA NORTHWEST

by Toby Determined

The mystery of the disappearance of Gravity Fall’s former heiress Pacifica Northwest in 2017 has been solved. She is the newest addition to the staff at Greasy’s Diner. Northwest went missing the day before the fire that consumed much of the mansion home she shared with her parents Preston and Muffy Northwest. Mr. and Mrs. Northwest were convicted of multiple counts of fraud in 2018 and are currently serving decades-long prison sentences. Pacifica states that she learned of their crimes and bankruptcy before leaving, but that it was for personal reasons involving her treatment by her parents that she ran away from home. She lived under an assumed name for six years to protect herself from her parents before returning to Gravity Falls last month, taking up residence at the Mystery Shack with the Pines family. Pacifica is an experienced waitress and this reporter can vouch that her skills are excellent and she takes great pride in a job well done. Gravity Falls is glad to have her back.

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, June 7th, 2024, Page 4

ANNOUNCEMENT: PINES AWARDED PhD

The Institute of Metaphysical Humanistic Science has conferred upon Martin “Dipper” Pines the Doctor of Metaphysical Humanistic Science, specializing in Cryptozoology and Hominology. Cryptozoology is the study of undiscovered animals; that is, animals as yet undescribed by science. Hominology is a branch of Cryptozoology which focuses on the study of primates or hominids such as Bigfoot as opposed to all types of cryptids. The sheer magnitude of the estimated number of undiscovered species is nearly unfathomable and many have been spotted over the years in Gravity Falls. Pines continues to explore, investigate, and research reports of unknown animals that have been seen by locals for years—sometimes, hundreds or even thousands of years.

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, May 14th, 2027, Page 2

NEW DINER IS A “MYSTERY” by Toby Determined

Renovations of the old Greasy’s Diner are complete and its new identity has been revealed!... Kind of. The Mystery Diner will open its doors tonight. This new business is the first for its owner, Pacifica Northwest, who until a year ago had been a waitress at the diner. She purchased Greasy’s from its owner Bob Greisman in November and has been renovating it since then. According to Northwest, the work was accomplished through 90% sweat equity and 10% serendipity. After a sneak peek into the facility while obtaining this interview, this reporter can say he is impressed but doesn't want to spoil the surprise for her patrons. The menu will feature a good deal of local, farm-to-table dishes at reasonable prices. "We're bringing fresh, seasonal farm food to local people," Northwest said. "Usually, only folks in the city have access to restaurant meals that feature produce and meats from the country and that's just silly." The menu includes small plates, entrees from $8.00 to $20.00, desserts from the Smiling Valley Baking Company down the street, and even healthy options for kids.

(Photo: GFG)

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, July 9, 2027, Page 3

OBITUARY

Stanford “Stan” Pines passed away peacefully at home in his sleep at age 85 on Sunday night, much to the chagrin of his enemies. He was a lifelong grifter and con-man who was beloved by his friends and family. Stan was born in New Jersey and came to Gravity Falls in the early 1980s. For decades he was the proprietor of the Mystery Shack. He held an amateur heavyweight boxing title in the 1970's. He is survived by his twin brother Stanley Pines, son Jesus Stan Jr. “Soos” Pines and his wife Melodye of Portland, nephew Alexander Pines and his wife Deb of Seattle, grand-niece Mabel Pines of New York and Los Angeles, grand-nephew Martin "Dipper" Pines and his fiancée Pacifica Northwest of Gravity Falls, and two granddaughters, Stanita “Nita” and Consuela “Connie” Pines of Portland. Donations in lieu of flowers may be made to the Stanley Pines Mystery Shack Preservation Fund, 618 Gopher Rd. Gravity Falls, OR. The family invites everyone to the Mystery Shack to share memories and incriminating stories about Stan on Saturday, July 10th from noon to 4pm.

(Photo)

 

GRAVITY FALLS GOSSIPER, Friday, June 23rd 2028, Page 4

ANNOUCEMENTS: MARRIED: June 22nd, Martin “Dipper” Pines and Pacifica Elise Northwest, both 28 years of age, at their home, the Mystery Shack.

(Photo courtesy of Stanley Pines)

END