Condolences for Juunanago

Condolences for Juunanago

A song fic by Aoi Kami Sarah based on Fumetsu no Senshi-tachi (a Dragon Ball Fanfic also by AKS)
and "Syunikiss ~nidome no aitou~" by Malice Mizer.
Words by Gackt / Music by Yu~ki / Arrangement by MALICE MIZER & Yohei Shimada.
From the 1998 album, "Merveilles".
Lyrics obtained here

Koneko felt him begin to shiver and held him closer. His skin was clammy and cold. Drawing up the blankets with one hand, she tried to wrap them around him as best she could while still hugging him tightly.

"Hold on... you're gonna be okay...
somebody... help us... "

His teeth chattered and he mumbled incoherently. Koneko began to get nervous. He was lapsing into something she could not comprehend.
"Just hang in there, Juunana," she shushed him and rocked him back and forth like an infant, but his muttering just got louder.
"No... I can't, no... It's all my fault... So much death..."
"It's all right..."

"Ah... Kimi ga kurikaesu hitorigoto wa kimi no saigo ni boku ga sakenda kotoba
(The words you mutter over and over are the words I cried out in your last moment)"

"No! It's too much!" he cried and threw her across the room like a discarded doll. Juunanago, wearing only his faded and torn blue jeans, flew headfirst through the tall windows, shattering them. Koneko, unhurt, ran to the broken panes and called out after him, but where he had to go, she could not follow.

"Inori ga todoita no ka... Me no mae ni kioku no mama no kimi ga iru
(Was my prayer heard...? You are before my eyes just as I remember you)"

Juunanago flew into the night, able to see everything by the pale starlight. His mind hummed with images and sounds flickering like celluloid. Places, people; all strangers, but all faces he had seen; all he had destroyed.
Then her face came up. Smiling, radiant, and forgiving, but his memory was polluted by blood, and in its corruption, she too became one of his millions of victims...

"Ah... Kimi ga kurikaesu hitorigoto wa daremo shiru hazu no nai saigo no kotoba
(The words you mutter over and over are the dying words that no one could know)"

"Please, please don't kill me!" she cried to the Jinzoningen. Her pretty, young face contorted with fear. He saw it all as if through someone else's eyes. The killing machine he had been sneered at the helpless girl and did horrible things to her before ending her life.

"Kakeyotta boku wa kimi wo daki furueru yubi de hoho wo nazoru
(I rushed over and held you and traced your cheek with my trembling fingers)"

He watched himself leisurely walk away and light into the air. Then, from the same perspective he ran to her. She was still alive, but barely. Her thin fame was completely traumatized by the atrocities the Jinzoningen had performed on her. He reached out and brushed the tears from her face and watched, helplessly as she died. He looked up to the darkening sky and screamed.

"Ah... Boku no negai wo kanaetekureta sora ni yadoru aruji e
(Ah... Father who dwells in Heaven who granted my wish)
Mou ichido negai wo kanaete... "Kanojo ni kokoro wo modoshite"
(Grant my wish once more... "Return a heart to her")"

Suddenly he was the Jinzoningen again, on a rampage through a metropolis. Tall buildings crashed to the ground and smoke and fire spiraled all around him. He loved it; the power he had over every living thing on Earth. The power to bring that life to and end. He threw his head back and roared with sinister laughter.

"Tsumetai hitomi de sora wo mitsumeteru...
(I gaze fixedly at the sky with cold eyes...)"

His icy blue eyes looked up and caught a glimpse of the sun pouring through the clouds. His laughter stopped abruptly and he remembered her face. He stood and stared for a long time, then, grief stricken, lost all will to remain airborne. His heavy, artificial body plummetted out of the sky.

"...Kaerubeki basho wo shitteiruka no you ni
(....As if wondering you knew of the place you ought to return to)"

Juunanago woke on a riverbank, muddy, wet and cold. The voices in his head had stopped. The feverish images were gone. He breathed a sigh of relief and tried to remember what had happened. He thought he might have broken a window. He went to the river to wash some of the mud from his hands and bare chest. As he bowed down to gather the water, his reflection sneered back at him, fully clothed and wearing an orange bandana. He stumbled backwards and shook his head, but the action only seemed to stir the hallucinations further. They came back all at once with a vengeance. The light and the sound grew. He closed his eyes and covered his ears.
"No... No.. It's all my fault... Everything, everyone..." Juunanago tried to run away from the river, but with his eyes closed and his hands over his ears, he stumbled over brush and banged into trees. Finally, it was too much to bear.
"It's all my fault!!" He blasted off into the air in no particular direction.

A city loomed on the horizon. His brain throbbed with the desire to destroy it, although his heart wanted nothing more than to go back to the girl. But now he was unsure if he had been in her bedroom or smashed through her window at all. He had no control over his body's actions. He could not even attempt to self destruct.
As the walls came down and screams filled the air, he felt the memory of the pleasure of killing; of coloring the streets black and red, wave over him. He could not close his eyes, but slowly he began to force an image to replace the one before him. Her face. Her long, lavender hair. Her smile...

"Ah... Boku no negai wo kanaetekureta sora ni yadoru aruji e
(Ah... Father who dwells in Heaven who granted my wish)
Saigo no negai wo kanaete... "Kanojo wo yasurakani nemurasete"
(Grant my last wish... "Let her sleep in peace")"

At last, his technique worked and his bodily functions returned to him. He panted and looked out at the devastation he had wrought but and had no tears left to shed over it. He flew for miles at super sonic speeds till he had left the mainland far behind. The stars swirled above him and the sea lashed below. Only wanting to feel numb, he angled down and plunged into the freezing water.

"Tsumetai yubi de namida no ato wo nazoru
(I trace the marks of tears with cold fingers)
"Furueru koe de "Sora ni kaeshite..." to kurikaesu
(In a trembling voice I repeat the words "Return to the sky...")"

"Juunanago... Juunanago? Juunanago! Please wake up!" Koneko cried. She gasped as his eyes fluttered open. "You scared me! Don't ever do that again!" she sobbed. The android looked up at her pretty face and felt the tears splash down on him. His head was in her lap and her trembling hands stroked his hair.
She smiled as he reached up and with his thumb and gently wiped the tears from her face.

Comments: Aoi Kami Sarah